How to Be A Woman

Photography by Annie Millman, modeled by Taylor Bluestine

How To Be A Woman by Primcess

I don’t know how to be a woman.

I don’t know how to tie a bun —

A knot, a top knot, or whatever

It is they call it.

I don’t know how to fold

A top sheet while I’m 

Topless, perfectly perky.

I don’t have the money 

To get my bikini waxed

Or the drive to do it

on my own at home.

I don’t know how to cook

Hearty, with a hint of spice.

I am constantly spreading 

My legs on surfaces everywhere.

I don’t expect men to

Notice a change of color or flair

In my messy, bun-less hair.

I have plenty of stubble and strands

To share elsewhere. 

My waist may be small,

but I am dotted and dimpled,

unlike the fantasy

of the coveted, smooth sea shell.

My heart fails to pitter-patter

At the sight of a helpless babe.

I’d rather have a poodle

Than raise another woman

Who doesn’t know how to be a woman

And yet I wonder if

That makes me less of me.